Chapter 63
And who can say in life with a certainty that he knows the true motives of acts of relatives? Maybe they did, they would have had the patience to listen to its close for 5 minutes without interruption, without a doubt, seeking neither speak nor throw your partner a cup of your advice?
Who knows why a young man of 35 years, of sound mind, with everything going for a carefree life, he will go to the monastery?
Any knows about the God who sees our hearts . He knows, but it does not open this mystery to anyone, even a future monk himself. Andrei
participated in monastic worship regularly. He confessed and received communion frequently. Thus, during his confession, he was saying on itself. It has not hide the fact he no longer wants to live. He often went to the station, sitting on the bench where he first met Sonia, and he expected that only God knows. Suddenly, a miracle has happen and she will return? The only desire which had ruthlessly Andrei was to get Sonia's forgiveness for what happened and everything that could happen. Now, the height of his years, he understood the chasm of his carefree child, he realized how impossible it was to conceal the incident in his apartment in Kiev, he would have offered him a stone in the morning, as ordered by Alcyon . But it will not help to think about that today ... Sonia had offered him his house. It was the place to live. A house in the city center, in a prestigious location. It also left him with such love for her, that nobody can replace him. He can not live, can not die. He is young, healthy, and he can not kill himself because that is a great sin.
- So you have a chance - said the priest for confession .- You will become a monk and go live with us in a monastery.
"That can erase my memory? - Andrei asked.
-On can not escape from our memory, but you'd better close to those who are like you. You'll be closer to God. The monks of the likeness of the angels. They are angels living on earth among men.
- How resemblance to angels approach does God? - Asked Andrei.
- More than anyone alive. A donation for a monastery will be your home, we will arrange a hotel there.
That conversation has stuck in the mind of Andrei in a manner as he thought the priest. Closer to God? Maybe he will hear his prayers better, and Sonia find?
All these many months agonizing cursed stone silent. What to say, where is Sonia? Andrei has agreed to take monastic vows, began to prepare. He went to Kiev Pechersk Lavra monastery to buy the necessary clothing. There he decided once more to confess and to receive communion.
-I feel in your soul you have all decided, you know what you gonna do with your life - said one monk. Think carefully oppressed your soul?
"I've never forgiven my father.
Your father is alive?
Yes, it is alive.
- Go to him, forgive and ask forgiveness.
Andrei took the Holy Communion with a rock and he went to his father. He was alone at home, but a dark and moody. He opened the door, turned and plunged into the apartment, as if last night Andrei left the house, if there was no separation between them that lasted fifteen years . Andrei closed the door, entered the apartment, looked around him. Yes, nothing has changed here, everything was as before but the decor has aged a lot.
Father, I come to ask forgiveness for all the things that cause you problems in life. And I want to go to my room to take some pictures if you have not yet cast.
Sergei did not respond. Andrei went in his room, picked up the board on the ground where his hiding place and took pictures of Sonia.
"You know, he heard his father that which thou hast kept for so many years, and what you come up after so many years, and also to ask forgiveness. Probably This document is very important, let me see. The fact that
Sergei spoke with his son, it was very important for the latter. He expected to see pictures of Shura. All these years, Sergei thought that Shura was both his mistress and the mistress of her son, she was pregnant with her son, she jumped out of the fene ; be due to Andrei. Looking at the pictures
Sergei saw an unknown woman. But still, somewhere, he remembered her but he could not remember where.
Who is it? - He asked Andrei.
-This is my first and only love.
Where is she now?
"I do not know the last time we met in France 15 years ago.
Father, forgive me in seven days, I'll take monastic vows and disappear forever in a monastery. We do not see. What have you been
to Shura, you've spent time, I confess that? - Can not stop Sergei .- Case spent, but still - still?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Andrew joined his father in a deep reverie. On Friday, Sergei decided to go to accommodation, visiting a dying friend, Oleg Golovan. He asked to come, Sergei meant something very important. When Sergei was collecting what he saw in the hallway floor of a photo, Andrew accidentally lost. He remembered how these photos were important for his son and decided that once he goes to the atmosphere of the House and then be buried photography Andrew. The fact that after the conclusion of life in Nejin Andrew, he learned of Oleg.
A former doctor did not rise from the bed, speaking with difficulty. His daughter has written a note Sergei them a few years ago, just in case. Sergei opened the envelope, there was a note and photo. The note was a few sentences: "Forgive me, my best friend, my lies and betrayal, because you threw a son to be hidden from you that her mother. Pictured was the mother of Andrei, her name is Sonia Isakov. Try to find it. 15 years ago, she and Andrei have left town and nobody has ever seen. Perhaps Andrei he killed Sonia? ". Sergei
released a photograph of the envelope and was horrified watching it. Then from his pocket a second, exactly the same photo shown Oleg. He heard talk about Sergei, but he could not grasp the meaning of words. His conscience has fallen into the water and sailing all along the river with no beginning, no origin, no turns, no left and right, because this river is called eternity.
Sergei has not stayed in the house of Oleg among grandchildren who were crying. He needed to take the air out, he needed to see Andrei, know what he did to that poor girl. Home Sergei Andrei did not find at home. A neighbor said that normally at this time, Andrei served at the monastery, he showed how to get there.
"You can not pass, a monk-arrested Sergei, - Andrei could not see anybody, he just took monastic vows, he will not leave the altar for three days.
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